Everything in life, comes paired with its opposite. Birth-death, pleasure-pain, joy-sorrow, day-night, are linked polarities, complementary expressions of the same phenomenon. When there is one of a pair, the other shoe is always nearby.

These opposing extremes are reflected within us, in the form of our attractions and aversions. We identify with the apparent opposites, by either strongly clinging, or avoiding them.

Like the two banks of a river, or the head and tail of a coin- these polarities are extensions of the same centre, they arise from one core. The apparent opposites are superficial aspects of conjoint phenomenon.

Our attempts to split the whole, choosing one half without the other, is an impossible goal that creates suffering for us.

We naturally prefer everything easy and pleasant- while always trying to avoid the difficult or uncomfortable. Constantly striving to escape the dark gloomy unhappy moments, we hope to only invite good fortune into our lives.

Perpetually going back and forth between fear, loss, illness, misery- to desire, pleasure, health and joy- our lives constantly flow between fluctuating experiences of hope and despair. Rejoicing in the transient blooms of fulfillment, until they wither and fall apart, we continue living in this mirage of experience.

Being helplessly caught in the repeating patterns of opposites, is suffering.

It is easy to recognize suffering in its negative forms- as that, which we dislike or avoid. But it is difficult to notice, when it comes hiding in disguise of happiness. In moments of satisfaction and fulfilment, we ignore, that nothing stays same forever, the waves perpetually move up and down.

While riding the heights of success or pleasure- we forget, that this is only one half of our experience! The opposites are attached, the other shoe will drop, in it’s time.

We lose ourselves in the temporary euphoria of happiness, clinging to it, until the tides turn and we find ourselves drowning in misery all over again. We are repeatedly squashed, between the grinding stones of the changing scenarios of our lives.

With attachment and aversion to feeling good or bad- we are constantly craving, grasping, avoiding, rejecting or choosing. As helpless victims of our conditioned reactions, we impulsively embrace or despise the natural flow of life. There is no respite, no lasting security from this ebb and flow.

Suffering comes hiding in attachment and aversion.

We indulge in the temporary conditions arising in life, by either clinging to, or avoiding what happens- trying desperately to arrange the outcome to suit our preferences.

There is no gap between us, and what arises in our experience.

When immersed in misery or joy, we completely lose ourselves- forgetting every time, that the other shoe is waiting to drop. But always around the corner lurks the other half, the opposite! Good follows bad, happy follows sad, the cycle continues to repeat. This is suffering.

How can we avoid this suffering?

Having the same attitude, towards whatever arises.

When our experience is recognized for what it truly is, regardless of what it appears to be, pleasure-pain, joy-sorrow, hope-despair, are all labelled the same- as transient, mutable, unreliable experiences.

When we see the negative and positive aspects of our various experiences as inter-linked, we can begin to accept them for what they are- merely temporary, changing events. When we know the true nature of our experience, we do not attach to, or reject anything that happens.

In pleasure or pain, we try to equally remain the witnessing awareness of whatever is arising- not losing ourselves in what we encounter when faced with either extreme. Always remembering who we are, watching both opposites, with emphasis on our position as the observer. We can let them come and go.

Not rejecting or clinging to the experience unfolding before us- but looking at it, with our alert presence. Being aware of its total context, the whole truth, really seeing it as it is.

Without attaching to, or escaping from, that experience.

Reminding ourselves, that regardless of what our experience is- it is not reliable, it will certainly change. Knowing this, we allow it to unfold as whatever it is, but do not invest in it. Whether it stays or goes, we remain only a witness, not depending upon it, remaining detached and free from it!

Firmly placed in awareness, knowing the whole range of our experiences- we are not overwhelmed by the flood of any temporary event.

This attitude immediately brings us to the middle point, that transcendent centre between all extremes. Whether in glee or gloom, we stay firmly put, right in between, yet beyond both!

If in a moment of joy, something delightful or pleasant comes along- we look at it, without grasping. The emphasis remains on being present to it, seeing, listening and welcoming it in our attention. Then we know the experience exactly as it is, without getting attached!

Whether joy or sorrow, we do not relinquish our awareness for a total absorption in it. We stay aloof, not losing ourselves in the experience, not fully dissolving in it.

Standing apart as a witness, we see the pendulum swinging, over and over again. This is our refuge from the conflicting opposites, where all extremes are transcended.

Already knowing well, that there is always the other shoe which will inevitably drop, we are prepared! We see the shoes falling- one after the other- but we dodge them all, because we have moved out of their way.

Here now, we remain safe, from all attachments and aversions and we do not dread the other shoe!