Existential Crisis questions
I am not sure, in this moment, whether I am in my body-mind or my body-mind is in me? I find myself here and now, lingering around a body-mind. I say ‘lingering around’, as the bare minimum truth, which I cannot challenge from my direct experience in this moment. I could call it, ‘associated’ with, linked with, connected with…essentially, my experience is that I am lingering around, about the region of my body-mind!
Is this crazy talk yet? I will dare to go on.
Am I this body-mind, being born and dead with it? If I am not just this ‘body-mind’, Who am I really? What is my relationship with ‘my’ body-mind? Am I inside, or extending outside, of my body-mind?
If all my perceptions and experiences are restricted to/by my body-mind, can I ever ‘know’ or access anything that is not directly ‘perceivable’ by this body-mind?
Anything that I seem to know, cannot reach me without the instrument of body-mind, so how can I ever find out, if what I know or what I am, is independent of this body-mind (or not)?
What if there is no one? What if everything ever believed in, is simply imaginary.
How does my life and my perspective change, if all that I have ever believed in, turns out to be only a false construct created by my curious and imaginative mind? Will I feel lost, devastated, regret the lost time, feel sad, cheated, angry for the loss of my mental/emotional/ physical involvement, or will I feel free, released, finally closer to finding the real truth of my existence?
Can I do this hypothetical thought experiment and arrive to the same conclusion either way?
……………………………………………
We have so many questions but no answers. There can be no authentic answer- until the question itself dissolves.
Then, in the ineffable centre of our inner stillness and silence, we are left with our naked being- which only knows itself.
This knowing is the ultimate answer in which all questions dissolve. We can choose to trust this knowing, which carries within it, all our not-knowing.
This is the answer in which, all unknowns remain unknown. This one knowing, supports the weight of all unknowns.
But we know!
…………………………………………….
…………………………………………….
Dropping all the dualities of Knowing/ Not knowing, Certainty/ Doubt, Trust/ Belief, Wisdom/ Ignorance, Time/ Timeless etc., if we focus on the one certain absolute conviction that we can ever have- of just ‘Being’ and ‘Knowing’ that we are.
With no other knowledge, no other concept, no other belief or support, just one thread of certainty that something ‘is’ and that we ‘are’ (they are identical).
Holding on to just this alone, we can still find that absolute truth, it is all that is necessary. This, our Being and Knowing!
Comments
2 responses to “Existential Crisis”
yes. thank you. well written. surrendering into the unknown seems to be the only real option. here is something i wrote a while back.
There are two human beings standing in a field, observing the sky.
One of them sees the progression of the sun/moon/stars from east to west. This person would quite naturally assume that they are the center of the universe. They are correct.
The second person understands that the earth is actually moving around a stationary sun. They are correct.
Another third person might see the same movement of the celestial bodies. They understand that they are at any and all moments, spinning at 900 miles per hour, and orbiting at 90 miles per second around a burning (yet apparently stationary) mass of hydrogen gas that is also moving through space at a million miles per day. They are also correct.
For this third person, the center of the universe is at some unknown point located on the periphery of their imagination and awareness.
A fourth person may see it all as only relatively true with no real substance. That is true.
With all of these types of perception being true, there is a paradox created in our experience between our ego and our intuitive imagination. This paradox creates tension and suffering in our awareness. Yet this is the door through which Grace makes its entrance.
Copernicus brought us from a geocentric to a heliocentric viewpoint. Who will bring us to our next frontier…..a Spirit centered viewpoint? Many have tried, but only you can do that. It must become a reality in your own heart.
In this corner, weighing 185lbs, wearing red trunks, from Anytown, USA…..YES
And in this corner, weighing 185 lbs, wearing blue trunks, from Anytown, USA…NO
Thank you so much, for sharing your illustration of this very important fact that the truth is often hidden in the perspective which is always relative, perhaps this is the whole reason of all our conflicts, misunderstandings and the resultant suffering. We do not ‘get’ the other people and their unique perspectives from where they operate, we judge, label and criticise more often than we try to understand the root of our conflicts.
This also brings me to the point which I often circle back to…the truth is one / has to be one at its source, the absolute of wherever /whatever it is. But it inevitably turns relative, at the point of its reception and interpretation.
Like the same light from the one sun illuminates every thing on the planet, but each object which gets illumined appears different. A muddy puddle is lit by the same light, so is a crystal clear lake.
We have to deal with our not knowing, the unknown, the unknowable and the absolute certain knowing, which does not always seem to absorb all our confusion and doubt.
Perhaps this is how it is and we should accept it for what it is and rest in peace with it!